Sexting in Bulk
Those couple of months when I received more dick pics than in my whole life taught me the most about men’s deepest desires.
I am switching off most of the notifications as I have been getting too much of an explicit material recently. To avoid judgmental condescending looks of my fellow commuters when on a train or customers while queuing in a supermarket, I choose to hide my newly discovered hobby.
Recalling all those times when I was left alone sitting in the corner while every other girl got asked for dance still hurts. A thirteen-year-old constantly self-doubting girl needs a confidence boost rather than a neverending series of rejections from horny teenage boys focusing only on a bra size of their female schoolmates.
The Acne-face or the Flat-chest, as they used to call me, realized that not disclosing the appearance in front of potential candidates for innocent fun may be the way to go. In the early '90s and the absence of the internet, sending a text message to a TV show where they would read it out loud was the only option besides publishing an ad the Lonely Hearts section in the newspapers.
I am sending a message to a special number constantly blinking on the screen, paying a ridiculous amount of money for my 160-long desperate wish to be noticed by literally any male in the universe. It comes up surprisingly fast and I start receiving responses immediately. I am naively happy to see that all of them are around my age, not really thinking about the simple fact that it may be a lie.
I excitedly read a series of compliments, intimate questions, and arousing proposals which I have no idea how to reply to. My acclaimed brain collecting mostly As throughout the whole grammar school failed to come up with a single meaningful message to continue the conversation. Ashamed and disappointed by myself, I block the phone numbers of young-meat seekers and go to sleep.
As I get together with my first boyfriend, my need for such an adventure disappears because I can safely experiment with him. Sexting helps us overcome the initial phases of our teenage relationship when we are still too embarrassed to talk about our needs and wishes. Eventually, our love story ends and I move on to another one. And then another one, forgetting all about the thrill that simple words can bring up until the moment when we opened up our marriage and I installed Tinder.
At the very beginning, I was too shy to even consider meeting anyone I matched in person. I used it as a quick ego boost which skyrocketed my self-esteem. Having a very explicit bio and naughty photos brought me an endless list of suitors I could choose from. That never happened to me in real life. Ever.
I was eager to experience something more so I set off on an exciting journey in sexting with multiple men at the same time. Even though I had private 1:1s with each and every one of them, some of the conversations were so similar that it felt like a kind of a virtual gang bang.
The most important thing though, apart from my continuously wet panties was what I learned. Opening up fast, they shared with me their deepest desires in exchange for some hot comments and photos. As strange as it may sound, sexting taught me more about men’s psyche then actually having sex.
Body Urges Leading to Orgies
Did you know there are more than 30 erogenous zones on a human body? I bet you can name a few but you will hardly come up with all the peculiar ones unless you are told. Would you ever consider touching your partner on their heels, behind the knees, sacrum, armpits, wrists, or inner hands while expecting it may be as arousing as touching the tip of the penis?
While spas are packed with women and tantra massages for men seem to be confused with brothels, there is a clear double standard. And since we are all about gender equality now, it is only fair to carefully listen to how and where men want to be caressed.
They dream about having their ankles stroked, ears bitten, butthole licked. Some fancy getting fucked with a strap-on or wish to you to sit on their face. And the list goes on. There are cravings for wax play, pissing, or experiencing pain. Even though many of these desires are not that hard to satisfy, there is a surprising number of men who never get a chance to let them become a reality which made them come to me.
Fetishists: Courageous Beats Shameful
Have you ever thought of why being a fetishist has a negative connotation? I think it is because many people associate it with passions they might find disgusting or scary, such as love for used underwear and extreme body modifications. I dare to claim that most men experience a certain form of fetishism without even realizing it for a fear of stigmatization.
I love fetish because it gives one a clear path to please the partner. The list starts with sexy underwear, lace suspenders, and stockings. Short skirts, uniforms…remember your last costume party? Then may come latex gloves and bodysuits. Feet and shoes create their own category. Lickable toes, high heels, leather boots, you name it.
The human body, in general, is a great source of pleasurable fetishes such as hair in a form of cute braids or ponytails, unshaven pubic hair, tattoos, body size ranging from a child-like to obesity, makeup and body fluids.
Feel free to google some more if you are interested. Because the only shameful thing about it is to suppress your desires instead of courageously embracing them.
The Holy Threesome
I haven’t done any professional research to be sure to state that the most common thing heterosexual men dream about is a threesome with two ladies, but my endless chats with my Tinder matches tell me it is about right. And the PornHub stats confirm it.
The heavenly view of two women kissing one another and then blowing a dick together is simply hot and provides a guy with the unique God-like feeling. If one is lucky, some cool scissoring may be finished with an orgasmic explosion similar to the big bang. But no regrets if you haven’t done it, it doesn’t always work like that.
Yet finding a partner who would be willing to engage in it without being jealous in the first place, who is at least a bit into the same gender at the same time and picking up a lady-friend whom you both like on top of that is quite a challenge on its own. Sadly, these obstacles discourage effectively quite a few guys from pursuing it, leaving it only for lonely nights filled with masturbation while chatting to me about it.
Dick Pics as a Way to Build Self-love
Yep, I get turned on when I receive a dick pic. Because when it’s done well, it is a piece of art you just wanna look at. There are so many men ashamed of their body, stating male nudes are incomparable to all the hot selfies ladies can produce. I disagree.
Just imagine a guy taking some pride in what he has to offer and showcasing it in the nice light, from a complimenting angle, with a hand tightly around all its hardness. That’s better than porn because it’s real. And it’s most probably shot just for you with the idea of having an amazing fuck.
Nude pictures can significantly boost one’s confidence. There is no better feeling when you look at your photo after years of self-hatred and appreciate what you see there. Not to mention when you receive a positive reaction from your sexting partner. I know what I am talking about here, don’t you worry. I used to be the Queen of Self-disgust for quite some time.
And just to be clear, it doesn’t matter how big the dick is. How shaped it is. How veined it is. What’s way more important is the confidence that bursts out of the photo much more than any physical imperfections. Some men need the right kind of support in the form of an excited receiver on the other side to help them see their junk in a completely different way.
Seeking Freedom Through Role Play
Traumatized victims of their overpowering spouses who direct every single aspect of their lives. Overworked top managers who want to step out of their control-freak mode for a moment. Locked-down fathers on paternity leave desperately searching for their lost masculinity. Insecure mama’s boys craving proper treatment. Latent pedophiles watching teen porn, dreaming of fucking a tiny school girl instead of their aging wife.
All of them are out there and in need of a proper role play. Yet making it happen in real life may be difficult for the very same reasons as everything else. Admitting that one gets aroused by rape or humiliation takes a lot of courage and the virtual space can work as a great tool to get rid of some of the worst fears as well as to provide a comforting level of anonymity.
There has been a man I submitted to just in words. We never met. What is more, we never learned each other’s names, hobbies, or jobs. It was solely about the master-sub dynamic that didn’t require disclosing any harmful details. Obviously, when applying such an approach, you never know who is on the other side. But does it really matter if it serves its purpose? The essence of role play is pretending and living the life of someone else anyway.
Open Mind and Acceptance is the Biggest Turn-on
Last but not least, it is worth saying that there nothing hotter than an open mind. Neither the most expensive lingerie nor a butt plug with a diamond can compete with how sexy it is when there is someone unjudgmentally accepting your inner pervert. They loved me for that. Admired me. Worshipped me.
It was one of the greatest realizations on my sexting ride. Ultimately, the attraction had nothing to do with the looks. There is no need to work out in a gym for years just to experience some virtual hot fun. Just stop labeling people. Address their insecurities by being conscious of your own reactions to their vulnerabilities. Embrace them. Caress them. And while taking into consideration your personal boundaries of any kind, let them evolve into a life-time experience. I bet you won’t regret it.
Live and let live. That’s my motto.
I never promoted the idea of polyamory too much among my friends because I know very well it is not for everyone. Yet I am confidently stating that if there was a bit more wiggle room in terms of whether sexting is counted as cheating in a standard monogamous relationship, there would be way more happy, satisfied men in the world.
